On The Topic Of Religion

Religion.
There have been more wars--slaughter, death, suffering--fought over that one thing than all the wars on this earth combined.
More people have died; more people have given their lives over that word.
"Religion".

And for what?
Because one person thinks they know better than another.
Because one "religion" thinks they are right (whatever "right" means) and another is wrong.

There are passages all over the bible that man says God actually told them to kill people because they believed differently. I don't believe that.
I don't know how they did things back then, but I don't believe God actually endorsed murder.
I just don't.
And then some groups re-wrote their own book to suit themselves. What's that all about?

Killing other people because they don't believe the same as you do?
I could interpret these things as I understand them. I could re-word these things and turn them around to ease my own discomfort over what they say.
I could work night and day on understanding them, but to what end?
There are parts in that book that just bother the hell out of me...

I don't believe God's son died and rose from the dead so people could create a religion--hundreds of religions--so we could step up the effort to annihilate each other.
I just don't.

Most of these religion people, godly men, church ladies, really believe that sitting in a church once a week and acting like a jerk out in the world is what its all about. They believe going through the motions is enough to "save" them.
Rituals.
Going through the motions.
Robots.

That book was written thousands of years ago when people (evidently) really did go around killing each other over this. Some people still, to this day, take the words literally.
Look at 911. No way did God tell anyone to do that. Those people are nuts.
And this is a prime example of my point.

This is why I don't subscribe to "religion".
This is why I don't belong to a "church".
This kind of thing gets people killed and I don't think God condones that sort of thing. I just don't.

I do visit one church on occasion. I go because its beautiful. The music and lights and even the message is beautiful.
But every time, every time without fail, I cry.
I cry when I go. And why? Maybe I'm crying for all the lost souls.

Even when I go to this one church I feel least threatened in, I see all around me these carnal Christians; these people who go through the motions; these people who think somehow they are better than anyone else--and even better than the people sitting next to them--because they go to "church".

I feel sorry for them and are afraid of them at the same time. I see through them. They are Pharisees; people who are lost.
They think they are "right" and you can never convince them otherwise.
I think that's why I cry.

They go out into the world and fight their own private war.
They look down on, criticize, exclude anyone not like them.
They go out into the world and act like a complete jerk.
They are afraid, although they may not realize it, of anyone who is different.
They are lost and it breaks my heart. That's why I cry.

But nothing hurts more than the people I love most being afraid of me.
I'm pushed away. Looked at like I grew another arm. Respected less.
That's the main reason I cry, I think.

Even a member of my own family has become a robot.
He tell me he wishes he had my "faith". This blows my mind.
I tell him God's son died so we could have a relationship, not a religion.
And I still just don't think he understands that. He still feels lost. He's still wrapped up in the whole "going through the motions" thing. Going to church. He still thinks that's what its all about.

I turn my back on these things and these people. I go my own way because I am different from them.
Too many things have happened in my life. Too many things have gone wrong--and too many things have gone right.
I believe there is something bigger than me. I believe something hears me when I talk to it. And this gives me peace.
Psychosomatic? Delusional? Out of my mind? Who knows.

I have a relationship.
I don't have a religion.
I don't believe in religion.